In the last few years my confidence in my body has been on a steady upwards journey. Which in itself is pretty damn impressive. Except it shouldn’t be that impressive, surely woman (and men) should love their bodies? But in today’s culture for anyone to stand up and say “I like how I look” is unusual.
Coming on holiday this week wearing a swimming costume or bikini wasn’t something I was particularly bothered about (apart from finding one that actually fit well).
I brought a swimming costume, a bikini with a high waist and a normal low rise bikini.
Jumping in and out of the pool, swimming lengths, playing ball games in the pool I am not bothered about how I look in my bikini at all.
But then there’s after the pool, laying reading a book in the sun. And suddenly I look down and I just see belly and it’s not flat like I’ve been told it should be. So I put my hat on my stomach and feel comfortable again.
Jumping over waves at the beach and getting knocked over having the time of my life and then I see the pictures my friends been taken and I see rolls. And suddenly the whole experience is less fun.
But I have to catch myself. Letting something as stupid as my stomach ruin my fun. That’s absolutely ridiculous.
My friends aren’t judging me. I’m not judging them. But I’m judging myself based on what?
So today I’m going to wear my bikini (because it’s the one I got sunburnt in and therefore the least painful to wear) and I’m going to try and not let the negative thoughts creep in and ruin the last day of holiday.